Nemo James

Like most people of my generation (plus many from other generations) I was addicted to Monty Python although I do admit it all seems a bit dated now. Following a long period of intense pressure, I ended up with depression and tried just about every possible solution available with results varying from ok to a waste of time. One friend who had battled with depression all his life suggesting doing a Monty Python silly walk for 5 minutes if I started to feel bad, making sure I was alone for fear of being put in a straitjacket. I can’t say it cured me, but it certainly did help me get through some bad periods

When I started writing this song, I was ordered by the song fairy to use the catchline “Walk This Way” so it was a short train of thought that led me to Monty Python. I did some research and was amazed to see that despite being nearly 50 years since the “Ministry of Silly Walks” sketch was first broadcast that it was still going strong and some countries were still holding silly walk festivals. Then it occurred to me how great it would be to hold a “Worldwide Silly Walk and Dance Competition” inviting the public to a make videos of their silly walk and offer cash prizes to the 15 winners. I created a Kickstarter campaign to raise $3000 dollars for prize money and promotion. It was a brilliant plan that could have united the world in music and laughter but like most of my plans, “it was bollocks”.  Despite paying $160 to a company that assured me they could raise between $15,000 and $50,000 in pledges for the project I managed to raise the grand total of $1 dollar. Even with my track record that was a pretty grim result but hey…. it is something to write and laugh about.

Like most people of my generation (plus many from other generations) I was addicted to Monty Python although I do admit it all seems a bit dated now. Following a long period of intense pressure, I ended up with depression and tried just about every possible solution available with results varying from ok to a waste of time. One friend who had battled with depression all his life suggesting doing a Monty Python silly walk for 5 minutes if I started to feel bad, making sure I was alone for fear of being put in a straitjacket. I can’t say it cured me, but it certainly did help me get through some bad periods

When I started writing this song, I was ordered by the song fairy to use the catchline “Walk This Way” so it was a short train of thought that led me to Monty Python. I did some research and was amazed to see that despite being nearly 50 years since the “Ministry of Silly Walks” sketch was first broadcast that it was still going strong and some countries were still holding silly walk festivals. Then it occurred to me how great it would be to hold a “Worldwide Silly Walk and Dance Competition” inviting the public to a make videos of their silly walk and offer cash prizes to the 15 winners. I created a Kickstarter campaign to raise $3000 dollars for prize money and promotion. It was a brilliant plan that could have united the world in music and laughter but like most of my plans, “it was bollocks”.  Despite paying $160 to a company that assured me they could raise between $15,000 and $50,000 in pledges for the project I managed to raise the grand total of $1 dollar. Even with my track record that was a pretty grim result but hey…. it is something to write and laugh about.

Like most people of my generation (plus many from other generations) I was addicted to Monty Python although I do admit it all seems a bit dated now. Following a long period of intense pressure, I ended up with depression and tried just about every possible solution available with results varying from ok to a waste of time. One friend who had battled with depression all his life suggesting doing a Monty Python silly walk for 5 minutes if I started to feel bad, making sure I was alone for fear of being put in a straitjacket. I can’t say it cured me, but it certainly did help me get through some bad periods

When I started writing this song, I was ordered by the song fairy to use the catchline “Walk This Way” so it was a short train of thought that led me to Monty Python. I did some research and was amazed to see that despite being nearly 50 years since the “Ministry of Silly Walks” sketch was first broadcast that it was still going strong and some countries were still holding silly walk festivals. Then it occurred to me how great it would be to hold a “Worldwide Silly Walk and Dance Competition” inviting the public to a make videos of their silly walk and offer cash prizes to the 15 winners. I created a Kickstarter campaign to raise $3000 dollars for prize money and promotion. It was a brilliant plan that could have united the world in music and laughter but like most of my plans, “it was bollocks”.  Despite paying $160 to a company that assured me they could raise between $15,000 and $50,000 in pledges for the project I managed to raise the grand total of $1 dollar. Even with my track record that was a pretty grim result but hey…. it is something to write and laugh about.

Like most people of my generation (plus many from other generations) I was addicted to Monty Python although I do admit it all seems a bit dated now. Following a long period of intense pressure, I ended up with depression and tried just about every possible solution available with results varying from ok to a waste of time. One friend who had battled with depression all his life suggesting doing a Monty Python silly walk for 5 minutes if I started to feel bad, making sure I was alone for fear of being put in a straitjacket. I can’t say it cured me, but it certainly did help me get through some bad periods

When I started writing this song, I was ordered by the song fairy to use the catchline “Walk This Way” so it was a short train of thought that led me to Monty Python. I did some research and was amazed to see that despite being nearly 50 years since the “Ministry of Silly Walks” sketch was first broadcast that it was still going strong and some countries were still holding silly walk festivals. Then it occurred to me how great it would be to hold a “Worldwide Silly Walk and Dance Competition” inviting the public to a make videos of their silly walk and offer cash prizes to the 15 winners. I created a Kickstarter campaign to raise $3000 dollars for prize money and promotion. It was a brilliant plan that could have united the world in music and laughter but like most of my plans, “it was bollocks”.  Despite paying $160 to a company that assured me they could raise between $15,000 and $50,000 in pledges for the project I managed to raise the grand total of $1 dollar. Even with my track record that was a pretty grim result but hey…. it is something to write and laugh about.

The sad thing about this song is it probably the one composition I have had the most response from with elderly women saying they are in the same position. They know their children love and care about them and don’t have much time but even a five minute phone call would be so welcome.    

It was 1991 and I had just been offered my first record deal. It was an independent company called “Rosie Records” whose owner described my songs as “the best that I have heard in 25 years in the business”.  It was a small record company, but they were working in collaboration with the major publishers “Acuff Rose” and the UK head of Acuff Rose had promised to give the album his full backing. He had already approached the BBC getting 4 Radio Two producers on board and there was even talk of it being made album of the week.

I was working in the Dubai Hilton at the time, 5 hours a night with a 10-minute break each hour. It was at the end of one of those gruelling nights that I was walking back to my apartment across some waste ground when I had the urge to stop and sit on a rock. Instantly the guitar riff appeared and the first line “Sitting here on the desert sand, cool night air and guitar in hand”.  OK, the air wasn’t that cool in English terms but compared to the 45 degrees in the day it was blissful.

If you want to know what happened after that you’ll will have to read my autobiography.

On some occasions, a song is born from a guitar riff or intro which always surprises me. In this case it was a very lazy intro that cried out for a song about doing nothing which is a subject I am not as familiar with as I would like to be. So take a few minutes out, close your eyes and listen.

The old chestnut, if you discover the spouse of a good friend is having an affair what should you do? It could blow over; your friend never finds out and they both live happily ever after in which case telling them would have bought unnecessary pain. Or it could all blow up, your friend finds out you knew and feels betrayed. I can’t say the story in the song happened to me, but I do wonder what I would do.

Like most people of my generation (plus many from other generations) I was addicted to Monty Python although I do admit it all seems a bit dated now. Following a long period of intense pressure, I ended up with depression and tried just about every possible solution available with results varying from ok to a waste of time. One friend who had battled with depression all his life suggesting doing a Monty Python silly walk for 5 minutes if I started to feel bad, making sure I was alone for fear of being put in a straitjacket. I can’t say it cured me, but it certainly did help me get through some bad periods

When I started writing this song, I was ordered by the song fairy to use the catchline “Walk This Way” so it was a short train of thought that led me to Monty Python. I did some research and was amazed to see that despite being nearly 50 years since the “Ministry of Silly Walks” sketch was first broadcast that it was still going strong and some countries were still holding silly walk festivals. Then it occurred to me how great it would be to hold a “Worldwide Silly Walk and Dance Competition” inviting the public to a make videos of their silly walk and offer cash prizes to the 15 winners. I created a Kickstarter campaign to raise $3000 dollars for prize money and promotion. It was a brilliant plan that could have united the world in music and laughter but like most of my plans, “it was bollocks”.  Despite paying $160 to a company that assured me they could raise between $15,000 and $50,000 in pledges for the project I managed to raise the grand total of $1 dollar. Even with my track record that was a pretty grim result but hey…. it is something to write and laugh about.

I live near Dubrovnik in Croatia and have always loved fishing. Most of the fisherman around here fish from boats catching bluefish of the mackerel, tuna variety and the most prized of these fish are Polanda, the local name for “Atlantic Tuna”.  They swim in big shoals and when they are feeding the seagulls go crazy while the water boils with activity as the Polanda devour the small fish. When I first started coming here in 1995 there were plenty around but there seems to be less and less every year. However, “my pal Niksha” has clearly sold his soul to the devil because every time he takes his boat out, he comes back with not only Polanda but many other even more desirable fish. Mind you, I suspect his multimillion-dollar fish finder might help.

Niksha owns the local bar in the centre of the village and this year we had our first International fishing competition, me representing the UK and Nicksha representing Croatia. As expected, Niksha caught more than me but if you follow this link you will see that the fish I caught was of a far superior quality so I claim at least a draw.

It was around 1979 and I was working for a big band at a wedding. We were sitting at the band table feeding our faces when the bridegroom stood up and started his customary speech. It wasn’t long before his voice broke up until he was sobbing uncontrollably. It was a very awkward moment with embarrassment all around until his father in law stood up, put his hand on his son in law’s shoulder and said to him and all the guests:  “Don’t worry son, it takes a real man to cry”. At that point the audience went wild with applause, the son sat down with his self-respect intact and the father in law took over the speak saying what a wonderful son in law he had. I have to take my hat off to that father in law.

Many years later I was watching the great film “Billy Elliot” and was deeply moved in one of the final scenes when Billy’s tough, no-nonsense father was sitting in the audience with tears in his eyes bursting with pride for his son. Truly great acting by Gary Lewis.

Someone I know who suffers from depression posted on Facebook a message asking which of her friends were there for her. I had a period of depression following a work-related burnout and know how awful it is, so I really felt for her although didn’t know her well enough to give a meaningful response. What occurred to me during my dark period is how little we know about mental illness and most of the help offered is along the lines of “we fire into the dark hoping that we hit the mark”. I tried a lot of treatments which ranged from the daft to the temporarily helpful and the only conclusion I came to was I had to find my own way out of the darkness. The most important thing to remember though is that there is always someone there for you.

Despite being a confident person it always amazed me in my youth how hard it was to approach a woman or to use the horrible but irreplaceable term, to “chat up women”. What it must be like for someone who is shy and lacks confidence I really can’t imagine so I assume they are confined to meeting women by chance rather than approaching them. Ironically, I have spoken to women who said there had been occasions when they were desperate to be approached by someone that took their fancy but were too shy to give any encouragement. I wonder how many “Grand Amours” never happened simply because of lack of courage or fear of rejection.

For many years I spent hours standing on stage watching people dance and remember one night seeing a young man looking at a girl across the dance floor. It was obvious he wanted to ask her to dance and when he finally plucked up the courage and leant over the table to ask politely “Would you like to dance” she took one look at him and replied “no xxxx off”. I can still see his mortified face and wonder if he ever again plucked up the courage to approach a woman.

I loved the Kevin Costner film of the same name and in recent years it has struck me how that film could have been made about me. He bought a farm in the middle of nowhere, made a baseball pitch on the off chance that the voices in his head were correct in saying that a bunch of famous dead baseball players would come along and play on his pitch. I reckon his dream was more likely to come true than that of a 67-year-old making it in the music business but just like Kevin, I plough on every year in the hope that one day “people will come”.

One of my dearest friends is the world-famous journalist Barrie Tracey. Ok he hasn’t been famous for a long time but in his day, he was “the man”. He and his wife Pat saw me playing in 1995 on the “Pride of Bilbao” ship going from Portsmouth to Santander in Spain and being big fans of my music, we have been in contact ever since. At the ripe old age of 80 he is still going strong (ish) and riding a mountain bike, or to be more precise, falling off a mountain bike. He contacts me regularly to tell me of his latest mishap which usually concerned a bike but on one occasion he managed to fall into a river whilst rescuing his grandson’s ball and broke his collar bone.

When Barrie comes to visit me in Croatia, he uses my bike which was bought with good intentions but was abandoned when I discovered I had to pedal it myself. When I first showed him the bike he was quite insistent that I should start using it but I handed it back to him and said “Bye Cycle”. The perfect cue for a song.

Cookie turned up uninvited one day informing us she had decided to live with us. I don’t like being treated like a servant which is why I never regarded myself as a cat person but I must admit you do get attached to them. The problem is, cookie is a furry killing machine which is ok with mice and rats, not so ok with lizards and snakes and definitely not ok with lovely little birds. Recently she killed a beautiful African Hoopie bird and left it intact on our step like she knows she went too far this time. Honestly, it flies all the way from Africa, stops off for a kip in Mlini and then wallop… it becomes and ex bird. Grounding Cookie or even telling her off doesn’t have much effect so all I could do was write this song but she refuses to stay in the room and listen to it.

Inspiration for this song dictated that the main catchline was simply the word “Africa” and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t come up with an alternative. It left me with a dilemma as there have been so many great songs written about Africa from people with far more of a connection to it than I have. Fortunately, the first line that came to me was “when she was young, she used to have a doll” and it went from there replacing Africa the continent with Africa the muse. Not liking stereotypes, I decided just because it was a doll why should it have to belong to a girl and by changing gender I was happy to see the song leading into another more interesting direction.

I never had children myself and it is one of the few regrets I have in life although I do have two great stepchildren. I love to watch fathers playing with their children and often wonder if they are aware of just how fast those magical years pass.  

For five years after meeting my wife Federika I had to work overseas to earn a decent wage so it meant us being apart for months on end. Working solo, I was usually alone most of the time which I have never had a problem with but I did miss Federika a lot. Phone calls become a lifeline which is ironical because in every other situation I despise talking on the telephone.

Nothing profound about this song but it does remind me of how often we have an effect on other people’s lives and usually without knowing it. I worked a summer season on the Pride of Bilbao, a ship going from Portsmouth to Bilbao in Spain. I was singing this song one night when a middle-aged couple walked past. They stopped to listen and during my break called me over for a chat. We lost contact for many years but eventually met again when Barrie told me he had recently lost his wife and would like to book one of our apartments for a few weeks. It wasn’t until then that I found out that Magic in the Air had become “their song” and Barrie still listened to as it brought back such fond memories of his beloved wife Pat.

In 1995 I spent 9 months working in Madeira, one of the best gigs ever. The biggest problem for an unknown songwriter is most people need to hear a song a few times before they get to like it. I don’t have that luxury normally but in Madeira I was working in a hotel bar so most of the guests came every night for a week or two and so get to know my music. Most of them bought at least one album and many bought all seven and we are still in contact 25 years later. The island was beautiful with a perfect climate and the people were great.

I was 19 when walking past a lovely young girl on a snow-covered street in Gstaad she smiled at me and I smiled back. It was obvious that she liked me, but could I turn around and start talking to her? My legs insisted on moving forwards and my head refused to turn around. This was in sharp contrast to the older Italian members of the band who only required their prey to have a faint heartbeat before they descended on them mercilessly.

Even years later when I had a lot more confidence, I was one day looking at an attractive on a train platform who in my defence didn’t seem to notice me. When I got on the train and it pulled away she looked up from the platform and gave the kind of smile which clearly said “why didn’t you speak to me you pillock.”  At least it gave me the subject for another song.

I knew from the beginning of my musical career that I wanted to be a composer which is why it was so frustrating finding that everything I wrote leant heavily towards the crap side of the quality spectrum. After finding myself drawn towards classical guitar I found I could write instrumentals that I was pleased with, but songs still evaded me, and in particular the lyrics. Like a lot of mediocre songwriters when I was stuck with a lyric I wrote any old rubbish and pretended to myself (and hopefully others) that it had some deep meaning.

A Chair by the Window was my first experience of a song writing itself in my head. It was autumn 1989 when I was driving on the M1 to Derby to pick up what was left of a midlife crises when a simple tune came in my head with the words “There’s a place in a chair by the window, where a young girl sits” which is the kind of line that leads easily into a story. By the time I got to Derby an hour later the song was written in the sequence, girl, woman, wife, widow, old woman and dead woman. The structure was there and filling in the blanks was easy.

I have never had such a reaction from a song as A Chair By The Window. I worked at the Dubai Hilton just after the gulf war when the bar was full of American servicemen. They were queueing up to buy my tapes and while at sea this song went around the boat like wildfire. When they returned for their next leave, they insisted I played the song several times a night. I once did a support act for Fairport Convention in Portsmouth and when I finished singing A Chair By The Window  I got a standing ovation and people clapped for at least a minute before I could continue. Strangely enough I did a floor spot in a club in Cape Town in 2016 and the reaction was lukewarm. I find it hard to believe there is a shelve life for a song like this but who knows?

Of all the songs I have written, this is the one I most like to sing and play. I sang one night at a dinner party when the guests insisted I played something for them so I sang this. I came to the very emotional ending and knew I had played it well. After a token round of applause, the man next to me said “Very nice. Do you know Country Roads.” That was the night I realised I would probably never play in public again.

Where I grew up in London there was a house next door with a wall a couple of feet high in their front garden. As a kid, I used to stand on that wall with friends and have competitions where we would try and push our opponent off the wall. Most of the time it went ok but a day rarely passed without one of us failing to clear the wall properly and scraping our legs on the edge, a very painful but not lethal experience. In those days running to mum for sympathy and a cuddle wasn’t a viable option for kids as we would get a whack around the head for playing such a stupid game. It might sound heartless these days but it certainly took our minds off our cuts and bruises for a while.

A song for all those who never seem to have a minute to themselves

I have always been intrigued by fate. Not just the sliding doors scenario but the fact that sometimes our tiniest actions can have such a huge impact on other peoples’ lives. Many years ago my elder brother registered with a “pen pal” agency and wrote to a young girl living in Worthing. I like to visualise him standing by the post box unaware that when he let go of that letter he was not only changing his own life but also my life and that of so many other people.

He ended up marrying that young girl and living in Worthing. When my father retired, my parents bought a house to be near him but also because it was an excellent place to live. Years later I lived with my parents for a while which led to me meeting my wife Federika which led to me living in a paradise village near Dubrovnik in Croatia.

It occurred to me that we all have “special days” in our lives when walking into a room, missing a train or any number of insignificant events can have a massive impact on not just our lives but  those around us and “all those yet to come”

This is a song about living in Mlini near Dubrovnik, my favourite place in the world. Every day I wake up realising how lucky I am to live here with such a close family and good friends. The song describes a typical summer’s day in Mlini. Fishing early morning, lunch, siesta, a game of bridge a few yards from the water’s edge and then a barbecue with friends to round the day off. It doesn’t get much better than that.

This is one of the many songs I have written that started with a title. I knew I had to keep it intact but I wanted to avoid the obvious and well-trodden lost love path. An alternative soon presented itself in the form of a child crying after a bad dream. I had a very happy childhood and a great dad, so this song was a joy to write. The strange thing is although we had a great relationship and he was a brilliant role model I wasn’t at all upset when he died. He had a good full life and I had no regrets as I always did my best to be a good son. However, I wrote this on the public terassa by the sea where I write all my songs and there were tears flowing down my face.

I employed an artist and created a video of it which I think turned out well. I would have loved to have created an animated version but it was well beyond my means. What surprises me is that some people see it as a sad video. My dad had a good life, 30 years of very happy retirement and died without pain at the age of 93. In the last scene you can see him standing by my side saying “I will always be inside your heart” which is true. What more can we ask for and how can that be sad?

I can’t say this song was inspired by the George Orwell but as soon as it started coming together I thought about the great book “Down and Out in London and Paris”.  It also surprised me how the spelling of a word can change the meaning of a sentence so much, in this case, from two to too.

Of all the songs I have written, this is the one I most like to sing and play. I sang one night at a dinner party when the guests insisted I played something for them so I sang this. I came to the very emotional ending and knew I had played it well. After a token round of applause, the man next to me said “Very nice. Do you know Country Roads.” That was the night I realised I would probably never play in public again.

I take a lot of trouble with lyrics for my song. In recent years I have been amazed at how easily they come to me but there are occasions when a line or word has me stumped although I am equally amazed when I come back to it the next day the lost words appears as if by magic.

I would guess that 90% of the time I will write the song around the first line that comes into my head which usually leads effortlessly to a story. The one word that I have always refused to use in any of my songs is “Baby”. I remember being at a folk concert when a female duo were singing quite a pleasant original folk song when suddenly they broke into the chorus “I love you baby” which was like flicking a switch in me and I couldn’t take them seriously after that. What is it about this word “Baby” that must have a place in at least 80% of every song ever written.

The price of security is often much higher than we realise. The title of this song came from a book I was reading with the same name which was about a farming family in Iowa. In one of my many lives I owned a squash club in Derby where many of my members were farmers and I remember one in of them being very unhappy about being trapped in the only life he knew. He earned a good living and would inherit the farm so his life stretched out securely in front of him, but it was not what he wanted to do. If the farm had gone bankrupt, he might have been forced into a different kind of life that would have made him happy. He was trapped by security. Most of my life I have lived in a state of insecurity. I never thought much about it as it seemed a natural state for me but most of the good things that have happened to me were a consequence of bad times. Ironically the few times I did feel secure I felt quite uncomfortable at the thought of no more exciting changes in my life. Fortunately, the decision was always taken from me and it has always amazed me how things generally seem to turn out for the best.