Nemo James

2008 Peru – Lima

What a relief it was to get off the plane in Lima into the lovely warm sunshine and air that filled my lungs. It was a great and eventful ten days but my days of high altitudes were well and truly over. It was strange as I had done a lot of skiing in my youth including two glaciers and it had never been a problem but I guess our lungs shrink as we get older.

With only a week left to go of our holiday, we made a hectic tour of Federika’s many friends and relatives, including the celebration of one death and one birth. One night we went to a mini reunion of Federika’s school friends. It was in the apartment of one of her wealthier friends and it was the first time I had experienced a lift which opened directly into someone’s apartment. During the evening someone produced a video of their prom party that no one else had ever seen before. We sat and watched on an enormous, flat-screen TV and at times I had to cover my ears because of all the screaming when faces from their distance past were recognised.

I was pleasantly surprised at the high standard of the toilets in Peru but I was in an internet cafe one day and informed the manager that there was no toilet paper in the toilet. I was expecting him to apologise and get me some but he just shrugged his shoulders as if to say, “What do you want me to do about it.” I discovered that even in the more up-market places you were expected to carry your own toilet paper with you. In some places there was no toilet seat either so I wondered if I was also expected to carry a toilet seat around with me. In one toilet cubicle, I had to laugh when I saw a sign saying, “Do not stand on the toilet seat.” Are there really men that stand on toilet seats to piss?

I had been concerned about crime in Peru and remembered a television series my parents had watched where a party of old people were travelling around the world. At the end of the series they were asked which country they would least like to go back to and they said Peru. They were robbed three times during tours in Peru although it wasn’t done aggressively. During one of the robberies, there was even some laughter involved as they had got so used to the experience. I never felt threatened at any time although most of Federika’s friends had had some kind of unpleasant experience. Ironically, while we were in Lima, a friend’s daughter was forced at knifepoint by two men in London to go to a cash machine and draw out cash.

Jorge (the owner of one of the beach houses we went to) owned a large textile factory outside Lima which employed about 200 workers. There was a lot of unrest in Peru which most people put down to Hugo Chavez stirring things up. He was the Venezuelan president who had made such a mess of his own country he thought it would be fun to export the mess elsewhere. I had no doubt there was some truth in it but it did seem like he was getting the blame for everything, from bad weather, to earthquakes to the price of eggs. Things were getting very nasty at Jorge’s factory and despite having two bodyguards he was still concerned for his safety. He phoned around looking for more security guards but there was none available which was a sure sign that trouble was brewing.

23rd March 2008
We went to a fountain park which according to the Guinness Book of Records was the biggest in the world. I wasn’t expecting much because if you’ve seen one fountain you’ve seen them all but it turned out to be an amazing laser show. The approach to the park was filled with families and excited children. We stopped at one of the million stalls leading to the park to buy some anticuchos. These were barbecued pieces of beef heart on a skewer. I can’t say it was my favourite Peruvian delicacy but it was fun to eat. Inside the park there were fountains everywhere with the main one featuring a laser show that ran on a loop every 20 minutes. It started with a Viennese waltz with the water dancing in time to the music whilst changing colour. One minute the laser lights turned the water into fire and the next, beautiful 3D images were projected. A huge flower appeared and grew from bud to blossom from the base of the fountain. The crowd gasped in amazement.

All around the park were smaller fountains. In one place we walked through a tunnel of water that changed colours. In theory, we should have been able to walk through the tunnel without getting wet but in practice, there was always a wise arse who put their hands into the fountain which splashed everyone around them. There was another fountain for children where jets of water spouted out from the floor at irregular intervals so the game was to get to the centre and back without getting wet. The adults managed to get through with just a splash or two but of course, the children were thrilled and came away drenched from head to foot. There were 13 fountains in all and each with something special to offer.

There had been a lot of controversy about the building of this fountain park as it cost around 30 million dollars to build and in a country with so much poverty, many people felt that money could have been better spent. It was hard to argue with that but after visiting it I wasn’t so sure. They set the cost at only 70p per adult and children had free entrance so it was accessible to everyone and packed with families and young children who might go through their whole lives without ever seeing anything so spectacular.

One night we went to a folklore evening at the Brisas del Titicaca with two of Federika’s friends. It was in a dodgy area but as we went straight from the taxi to the front door there was not much risk involved. It was a huge venue which charged a small entrance fee and offered food and drink at reasonable prices. The entertainment was amazing with dancers dressed in costumes of the many different regions. Best of all was a dance called the Marinera from the north of Peru which was ironic as we never saw anyone dancing it on our travels in the north. The crowd went wild and everyone joined in the dancing at the end. A great night out and I just wished we could find more venues like that on our travels.

One day we went to the Spanish Inquisition Museum in the centre of Lima. I went alone as Federika had seen it twice before and found it a bit gruesome so she went shopping while I had a private tour. I wasn’t too impressed with the museum. The guide’s English was terrible and she seemed to find the whole thing very boring. It is interesting how some guides have a love for the subject and never tire of educating their clients while others see it just as a way of making a living and want to get it over with as soon as possible. The museum was pretty gruesome but the torture victims were only models and most of the methods of torture were the same as the European ones I learnt about at school. As unpleasant as the tortures were, none of them matched up to the sheer horror of techno music.

I was mainly interested in learning about the Spanish Inquisition but came away more confused than when I went in. I always thought that when the Spaniards invaded countries they insisted that everyone became catholic and if they refused, they were tortured until they did. According to my guide, the Spanish only tortured Catholics who had been naughty which I seriously doubted.

So after three months, we were packed and ready to leave with four suitcases each weighing 32 kilos.

Everything was so cheap in Peru that it was difficult to resist even the most impractical purchases. I fell in love with what looked like a wooden box of draws but was made from beautifully carved leather. Heaven knows how long it must have taken to make and yet it only cost £15 so how could I resist it?

Considering it was only a year since my nervous breakdown I was pleased to get through the holiday without any major episodes. There were times, particularly in higher altitudes when I found it very difficult to cope but remembering my brother’s advice, I ventured well outside my “safe space” and there was no question that the experience had improved my mental health considerably. Anxiety is like a playground bully we must either stand up to or have them rule our lives.

Now we come to the end of our South America adventure 2008 and it is time for me to say “adios” until next time.

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