2008 Peru – Colca Canyon
My first night’s sleep in Arequipa was not pleasant as I had a headache and was short of breath. We were picked up at 7 am for a two-day tour of the Colca Canyon in a minibus with 16 other people. The cost was only $60 per person which included a night in a hotel. Our first stop was at 4200 metres and I was already feeling dizzy and breathless. The scenery was magnificent with flocks of Lamas, Alpacas, and top-of-the-range Vicuñas. Scarves from vicuña wool could cost hundreds of dollars. By the time we reached the highest point at 5100 metres, I was feeling very anxious which always gave me an unquenchable thirst. After checking that we were all ok, the guide announced we would make a short stop to look around. The landscape was very bleak so I had no idea what we were supposed to look at. I was feeling very dizzy but as I had taken some altitude pills, at least I didn’t have a headache. I was hoping that someone else felt worse than me so we wouldn’t stop but as everyone was keen to get out and stretch their legs I didn’t want to say anything. Apart from my anxiety making me thirsty, I had also read that at high altitudes it was essential to drink a lot of water. I tried to drink as much as I could but even the smallest amount went straight to my bladder so I had to pee at every stop. Federika also felt dizzy and breathless but some show-offs from our coach were running around taking photos like they were young kids in a playground. To my great relief, we descended slowly to the small town of Chevey where we would spend the night. The altitude was 3633 metres and once the sun went down the temperature dropped considerably so I was very cold. We had a small heater in our room which wasn’t adequate but we were only there for one night and there was a nice warm quilt on the bed. 
After a much-needed afternoon nap, we met the bus to take us to some thermal baths. It was brilliant but everything, including changing cubicles and lockers was in the open. If I moved too quickly I felt dizzy from the altitude and when I bent down to undo my shoelaces I nearly passed out. We had to take a shower before going into the thermal bath and I was horrified that it would be cold water but thankfully it was hot and we were soon lazing in the lovely warm thermal bath.
It was claimed that the properties of the baths cured all ailments. It did nothing for my stiff neck that was a result of my breakdown but it did seem to cure my headache instantly. As usual in thermal baths, there was an unpleasant smell of sulphur but the upside was that I could fart freely without fear of recrimination. It was a strange feeling that from the neck down we were wrapped in this heavenly warmth but our heads were freezing. We waited until our fingers looked like corrugated paper before getting out of the baths and stepping into the cold air which was hell. Poor Federika had put her clothes in the wrong locker so her key didn’t match the lock. Rather than freeze to death she jumped back in the pool whilst I dressed quickly and went to find the right key for her. It was one of those many experiences that were much funnier looking back at. We were driven back to our hotel and only had an hour to rest before going out with our group to a dinner and folklore show.
The restaurant was in a long room, packed with tables and although they were not going to win any Egon Ronay awards, the service was well-organised and the food was acceptable. After dinner, they pushed all the tables aside to make way for the show which consisted of a young couple dressed in traditional costumes. They performed various entertaining dances which told stories including one that featured the man pulling the woman across the floor like he was using her as a broom. 
I had no doubt the story was misogynistic but she seemed to be enjoying herself as was the audience. After their demonstration, they started dragging people up from the audience to dance. I tried but after two minutes I felt like I had run a marathon so sat down. It was annoying as there were people much older than me prancing around like children. Federika stayed and joined in while the group held hands and danced in a circle. It looked like great fun and I hated the fact I couldn’t be a part of it but it was good watching Federika enjoying herself although she admitted afterwards she was also struggling. 
That night I had the worst sleep ever. I woke at 2 am with a terrible headache and was finding it harder to breathe than when I tried to dance. I took some painkillers which soon dulled the headache but nothing to help me breathe. All the time I was laying there I was conscious of having to wake up at 5.15 am for an early start. We were told that oxygen was available from the hotel reception but I doubted it would be open and as we were staying in small bungalows it meant walking through the grounds in the freezing cold. I decided to stay in my lovely warm bed and surprisingly I managed to get back to sleep.
Our bus picked us up at 6 a.m. and we made our way to La Cruz Del Condor. This was high in the mountains where condors were often seen flying but only early in the morning. Just as we were arriving there was great excitement as a condor flew close to the viewing point but by the time we got off the bus, it had flown away. We did see a few more but they were far off and could have been pigeons for all I knew. The condor business was a major tourist attraction but I didn’t understand why. Federika said it was because they were big and graceful but so are pelicans and no one gives them a second look. Give me a Pelican over a Condor any day. There was no denying that the scenery was stunning.
Next to the condor viewing area was a short walk to a platform where we looked down at the Colca Canyon. Despite being a short walk it was a little uphill so I had to stop several times to bring my heartbeat down to a few hundred beats a minute. It was strange how altitude affected different people in different ways and was not down to fitness or age. We heard about a young girl who died doing the Inca trail and yet often people in their eighties did it without breaking a sweat.
We arrived back in Chivay for lunch having driven on bumpy dirt roads all morning so we both felt like cats that had been dragged across a cold tin roof. After lunch we started on the four-hour drive back to Arequipa. There was supposed to be no stopping this time but someone on the bus was a serious photographer and stopped the driver a few times so he could take photos, complete with tripod and a ton of other nerdy photographer’s gear. I just wanted to get back to a sensible altitude so would have been irritated at the unscheduled stop but I had drunk so much water I wanted to pee so badly it hurt. One of the stops was at 5100 metres and unlike the previous day, it was cloudy, with a strong wind blowing. I was in such a rush to get off the bus that I left my jumper behind so I was freezing cold while I stood in the middle of a rocky field facing an awkward dilemma. I could piss with my back to the bus and have the wind blow the piss onto my clothes or I could stand with my back to the wind and piss in full view of those who remained on the bus. I chose the pissing into the wind method and with some neat footwork, I managed to keep most of it off my clothes and footwear.
We arrived back in Arequipa late afternoon utterly exhausted, with me feeling like I had been dragged through an SAS training course although I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.
2008 South America
