2013 Thailand – Koh Jum
27th December 2013
We woke early for the start of a hard day’s travelling. It started with a flight to Bangkok and a two-hour wait for a flight to Krabi in the South of Thailand where we landed at 5 pm. Our destination was the Island of Koh Jum which was further south and not easy to get to at that time of day. The usual way of getting there was to take a ferry from the port in Krabi but that departed at 10 am every morning so it would have meant staying a night in Krabi so we had arranged for the hotel to pick us up from the airport. That’s when the journey became surreal in an exciting way.
Every hotel we had stayed at so far had greeted us with big smiles, and endless chat and it was a simple transfer from the airport to the hotel. At Krabi, we were greeted by the owner of the hotel (though we didn’t know that at the time) who smiled but didn’t speak a word of English so he just grunted and started walking with one of our suitcases so we followed him. He took us to a pickup truck with an open back, tossed our luggage into the back, and then pointed us to the seats in the back. They were very narrow and so hard they might as well have been wood although the truck did look quite new. We drove for half an hour to a tiny, run-down village in the middle of nowhere and stopped at the end of an alley which led to the sea where three longtail boats were moored. 
Our luggage was put on the floor and although there was plenty of activity around the boats, we had no idea which boat was ours so we stood and waited for further instruction. 20 minutes later another boat arrived and fought its way into the tiny dock. Two men carried our heavy luggage effortlessly up a thin, flimsy plank of wood onto the boat. We were told to get in and our driver joined us after loading supplies that we assumed were for the hotel. As we pulled away from what can only loosely be described as the port, it was sunset on a lovely warm night so we couldn’t have asked for a more magical setting. The boat moved quickly through the water but it was still an hour before we arrived on the other side of the island where our hotel was and from there we were transferred to a tuk-tuk. 
From there we were driven along what seemed like a giant pothole with bits of road here and there. We were bouncing around like we were sitting on pogo sticks until we came to a halt in front of a sandy path. Two men took our suitcases on their shoulders and walked up the steep path with us following them in and out of trees until we finally reached civilisation and a friendly woman greeted us in perfect English. After the usual welcome drink, we were shown to our cabin which was as surreal as the journey had been. It was in a magnificent setting facing the sea, built on stilts with a long balcony and my favourite piece of furniture, a hammock. There were also two chairs which made it an idyllic place to sit and the nearest hut was at least 30 metres away, hidden behind some trees. We had booked a Deluxe Hut which turned out to be nothing more than a lovely old bamboo bed with a mosquito net over it. There was no chair, table or even coat hook. I had the impression it had been knocked together with bits of wood they had found lying around but we loved it. It had the only two luxuries we needed, a quiet electric fan and hot water.
In the centre of the small resort was the reception and there in the middle of nowhere was probably the best restaurant we had found that holiday. The only problem was it was quite small and as people came from other resorts to eat in the restaurant it got quite busy so we sometimes had to wait for a table. After dinner, we asked the owner where the town was as we wanted to do our customary after-dinner market shopping but she told us that the town closed at 9 pm.
We planned to do very little on that beach part of our holiday and we managed to do that with great success. The main Christmas event was on Christmas Eve rather than Christmas Day and consisted of an outrageously expensive dinner which most of the guests attended. The dinner was not bad apart from the main course, a kind of duck soup that was so hot it should have come with a government health warning. It was very tasty and being the main course I forced myself to eat it until it became too painful. Halfway through the dinner, we were asked to go down to the beach where music was playing and a small group of kids went into dance routines that they had obviously been practising for ages.
They were not going to win any awards but we all enjoyed watching it and it was great to see children having such a good time. We went back to the restaurant for dessert before returning to the beach for a “fire show.” I thought they meant fireworks but it turned out to be one of those shows where someone lights balls of rope and spins them around. It seemed to be a big thing in Thailand with lots of bars offering it. It was only the staff of the resort that were performing and they seemed to have some trouble keeping the fire alight but everyone still enjoyed it. We finished the night off with party games which I have never been keen on but joined in until they played musical chairs and I went into invisible mode. Fortunately, the games didn’t last long and everyone went back to their rooms. We sat on our wonderful balcony under the moonlight with the waves breaking gently beneath us making everything just perfect.
On Christmas Day we went on a day trip to Phi Phi Island. We liked our little island so much we weren’t sure about going to Phi Phi but we needed to get to a cash machine. The resort owner informed me that she didn’t take credit cards, or even dollars so considering there was nowhere on the island to get cash it seemed extraordinary to me that she didn’t make it clear when people booked. As often happens though, once we had booked the trip we started to look forward to it.
We were meant to leave at 8.30 am but at 9.00 am a couple of the staff strolled casually onto the beach to get the longboat ready to take us to the ferry. When the reluctant motor finally started working we were taken to the small ferry moored 100 metres from the shore. They appeared to have used the same designer for the ferry being knocked together with bits of driftwood but it did float which is one of the qualities I like most in a boat. They started the engine which was noisy when it was idling but by the time we were moving at full speed, it was horrendous. On the plus side, it did force the loud and boring American next to us to stop talking. Normally a boat has the engine built below the waterline so the noise is suppressed by the water but in this case, it was in the passenger area separated by a thin wooden wall. Fortunately, I had earplugs with me as I needed them for swimming so I put those in but even then the noise was pretty bad. The sea was rough but as we were both good sailors it wasn’t a problem which is more than can be said for the poor young man opposite who spent the hour-long journey slumped forward with his girlfriend trying to console him.
There were three other people on our boat and they were dropped off at Phi Phi Don, which is the big, party island while we went to Phi Phi Le, the smaller island where the excellent film The Beach was filmed. In the film, the island was a deserted paradise but what we saw was a bay full of tourist boats. Each boat had dozens of tourists in life Jackets snorkelling around, afraid to go too far in case they were run over by other boats. We moored in the middle of the bay and our driver gave us some snorkels telling us to keep away from motorboats, as if we had a choice. If one of them came speeding towards us what were supposed to do? We jumped into the sea intending to swim to the nearby beach but I wasn’t prepared for the jellyfish that was waiting patiently for me. It wrapped itself around my arm and stung me like a swarm of wasps. The shore was still quite a way off but I soldiered on despite the sea being rough and the stupid snorkel being so short it kept letting water in. Federika thought I was exaggerating about the pain but when we reached the shore and she saw the marks on my arm she had to admit what a brave soldier I was. I had read that peeing on a jellyfish sting reduces the pain but even in my youth I would have struggled to reach my arm and I couldn’t see Federika obliging me. We had a quick walk around the small beach and whilst it looked idyllic from a distance, up close it was full of rubbish and looked like no one ever cleaned it.
We managed to get some snorkelling done and there was no doubt there was a lot to see but I spent more time looking out for jellyfish than at coral and fish. Back on the boat, I showed the driver my jellyfish sting and he didn’t look surprised so I assumed it was not uncommon. I asked if there was anything he could do so he poured some washing-up liquid on it which had no effect.
On our way to Phi Phi Don, we were given a packed lunch which was part of the deal. While we tucked into our cold rice and chicken, eating out of a polystyrene box we were visited by the ghosts of Christmas lunches past. The lunch was redeemed slightly with a gloriously ripe papaya, not quite Christmas pudding but it did hit the spot.
We spent an hour on Phi Phi Don and were not impressed. It was packed with tourists, many of them drunk and such a contrast to our remote little island. I battled with an ATM and managed to get enough cash to pay our hotel bill and after a quick coffee, we were happy to get back to our boat. The engine was as noisy as ever but I had no trouble sleeping through it while Federika sat on deck and enjoyed the sun and sea breeze.
The last couple of days we spent in peaceful solitude and as much as we loved Koh Jum, we were happy to leave. We didn’t want to be anywhere like Phi Phi but we did feel the need for some nightlife, even if it was just a few shops to look around after dinner.
2013 South East Asia
