2008 Peru – Lima
5th February 2008
We checked out of our hotel with a few hours to kill before leaving for the airport so we left our luggage at reception. We had done it many times before but this time someone stole a bottle of perfume and Federika’s mobile phone which we didn’t discover until reaching our destination. I hadn’t locked them as naively it had never occurred to me that an employee of the hotel would go through luggage and steal stuff but I wouldn’t make that mistake again.
It was a five-hour flight from Buenos Aires to Lima and with the two-hour time difference it meant we didn’t get to bed until 2 am so we were both shattered. A friend had found us a nice little apartment for our two-month stay for only £60 a week. Although we intended to travel a lot in Peru, at that price it was worth keeping the apartment for the whole time so we had a base to travel from. It was a strange set-up, as although it was an apartment, they serviced it as if it were a hotel room and even brought breakfast to our room every morning. It was only coffee, toast, and jam but that was perfectly adequate and we supplemented it with some yoghurt and granola from the supermarket. There was also a computer with an internet connection in the lobby which was free to use and seemed to be available most of the time as most people lived in the building and had computers in their rooms.
The apartment was in a good district, within walking distance of a busy shopping area with a supermarket, cafes, and a large, multi-screen cinema. It was great to be able to walk to the cinema and we went three times in our first week. The films were always in their original language with Spanish subtitles. We were also opposite a huge ancient Inca burial site called Huaca Pucillana so we didn’t have far to go to visit some ruins and there was certainly no shortage of ghosts.
So after 18 years of being with Federika and constantly hearing about Peru, I was finally seeing it for myself and was certainly very impressed. Everything was so cheap and to get around, all we had to do was stand on a street corner and wait a few seconds for a taxi to come along. There were no clocks in the taxis so we had to agree on a price beforehand and on one occasion managed to get a 25-minute ride to the sea for just 68p, although it was the tattiest car I had ever been in. Even cheaper were the thousands of collectivos which were small, privately run minibuses. There were no bus stops, we just put your hand out and never waited more than a few seconds for one to stop. The cost for that was 17p to go anywhere within the inner-city zone. Eating out was also very cheap. For lunch, we could get a two-course menu for £1.70 and the quality wasn’t bad. One day we splashed out and ate at an excellent restaurant by the sea. We ordered a Lonce which in theory was afternoon tea and sandwiches but in practice, we had it at 8 pm. It included a cocktail, main course, soft drink, and dessert for £4 each.
One thing that struck me was the amount of security everywhere. Our area was patrolled by a private security company and on most side streets they had Watchimen. This was a man in a hut that was just about big enough for him to sit and it was his job to look out for anything suspicious. There were also heavily armed policemen in main areas as well as private patrols of men on scooters fitted with blue flashing lights. In restaurants, chairs or tables were fitted with chains so that women could secure their handbags to avoid them being snatched. We had to be careful when travelling in a car not to leave anything in view otherwise someone might smash the car window and grab it. This happened to Federika’s aunt who had a necklace ripped from her neck while waiting at traffic lights. Most buildings had fences with locked gates around them and we were not allowed through unless the security guard pressed a buzzer to let us in. A lot of shops were situated in offices behind security gates. I didn’t know what to make of it all. Should I have felt safe because there was so much security or not safe because of the need to have so much security? I can’t say I ever felt threatened.
You didn’t need to be a meteorologist to predict the weather in Lima as it was always the same. Thick cloud early in the morning which cleared up by 10 am every day. Hot until 5 pm when suddenly it cooled down and was dark by 7 pm with only half an hour’s difference between a summer and a winter sunset. In winter, the morning cloud didn’t clear so it stayed cool most of the day but it was never cold. There was never any rain but it was damp most of the time.
On the first day, we went to the local supermarket Wong to stock up on bits and pieces. It was a huge supermarket and one of a chain all over Peru. I was amazed when Federika told me that it all started with a small corner shop just a few blocks from her house and she used to go to school with the son of the founder. There was a vast selection of food and an area for takeaways. Unlike most supermarkets that were simply buildings with the sole purpose of selling, the Wong store was designed beautifully with tiled arches which divided sections. There was also a fountain and balconies which made it feel like we were outside. There was a cafe with chairs around the fountain and sometimes there was even someone playing a grand piano. There were workers everywhere and all eager to help. They had won many awards for the way they treated their staff and it showed. It was a real breath of fresh air although they had just sold the chain to a Chilean company so who knows what it would be like in the future. One day we went for a walk to see Federika’s old house and she showed me where the original Wong corner store was. It was a tiny unit but they expanded it until they owned the entire block.
We saw a dog which had no fur so from behind it looked like a weird, skinny pig. The breed came from the north of Peru where they were officially known as Peruvian Inca Orchid Dogs and were found mainly in the homes of the Inca nobility. I thought it was quite ugly but I suppose it was the perfect choice for someone with an allergy to dog hair. 
Our local shopping area was on a large roundabout with five exits, each filled with three lanes of speeding cars. The official policy was to pretend that pedestrians didn’t exist so there was no need to waste money on traffic lights or pedestrian crossings. That might work when there is a culture of giving way to pedestrians but if anything, drivers seemed to speed up when they saw us.
Lima had an interesting system for currency exchange. Banks used to charge extortionate rates to change money so money changers appeared on most street corners offering a much lower rate, even though it was very much against the law. The police got fed up chasing them so they made it legal as long as the person changing the money had a licence. Money changers were everywhere and easily recognisable by their distinctive jackets and the waving around of big wads of cash. They usually stood near banks which had an armed security guard standing outside. I assumed that if one of the money changers was robbed, the security guard would have to do something. Ironically, it meant that banks were paying towards the protection of their competitors, or maybe the money changers paid the guards something on the side which was not an uncommon way of doing business in Peru.
I met many of Federika’s friends, starting with her best friend, Boby whom she went to school. Boby’s son was an officer in the navy so we spent one Sunday at the naval club which had a swimming pool and an excellent lunch buffet. It was enjoyable but being Sunday it was full of kids and although the pool was very large, it was difficult to swim more than a few metres without being the victim of a screaming dive-bomb. After lunch, I was looking forward to my customary siesta but the only place I could lay down was on the grass which was fully occupied by biting ants so it wasn’t my most relaxing nap ever.
One morning we visited the town centre, starting with the presidential palace which was heaving with heavily armed soldiers and armoured vehicles. There was a large grass area in the middle where lots of people appeared to be waiting for something. In front of the palace was a row of riot police holding shields and batons looking like they were protecting the palace. Federika asked a policeman what was going on and he told us that the president was going to make an appearance shortly. While we were waiting, a large group of protesters appeared from nowhere and when the gates were opened for them they marched into the palace grounds. They were Columbians protesting about people who had been taken hostage in Columbia many years earlier and were still captive. The Peruvian president was on their side and trying to get the hostages freed. He made an appearance and waved to the protestors for a few minutes before going back inside. It was very dramatic and a bit scary with all that heavy firepower in place but it passed peacefully. While this was happening there was a military band trying to play the theme tune to Hawaii Five-0 which seemed a weird choice of music. They continued to play during the changing of the guard which involved two guards coming from side doors on each side of the palace and marching towards the front door in the middle. The march looked like something out of Monty Python’s Ministry of Silly Walks sketch with the guards raising their legs slowly to a horizontal position and then lowering them slowly, whilst keeping their legs rigidly straight. 
Next, we visited the cathedral where Federika tagged along with a group of Spanish-speaking people and their tour guide so I had to amuse myself for a while. I strolled around a pretty gory section which contained an extensive collection of skeletons. Finally, we went to the Franciscan monastery which was not really my thing but Federika enjoyed it. It got a bit more interesting when we walked through the catacombs where there were 30,000 people buried and there were another two levels with a similar amount. They had collected all the skulls and bones and made nice circular patterns so there was a row of skulls and a row of femurs, then various assorted bones and then another row of skulls and so on. It was certainly artistic but I couldn’t make up my mind if it was in bad taste or not. They might as well have hung all the skulls from the ceiling and run a ghost train through them.
As we explored deeper underground I was a little too conscious of the possibility of an earthquake that Peru was famous for. At one point I looked down into a deep, wide well which claimed to be the safest place in Lima during an earthquake. It contained 30 metres of skulls and in the event of an earthquake the idea was to jump into the well and the skulls would break my fall. Thank you very much but if it came to that, I would take my chances with the stairs.
One night we were invited to dinner at one of the best restaurants in Lima by some friends of Federika, Jorje and Maruja and I was surprised when we were picked up in a big BMW. The chauffeur was Jorje’s armed bodyguard who was an ex-policeman. Jorge had been kidnapped a few years earlier and had been lucky to be released after paying the ransom so he was not taking any more chances. The restaurant was at the end of a small pier and was very plush. The food was superb, but to my horror, I discovered that it was not the custom in Peru to drink wine with a meal and our hosts both drank Coca-Cola. I knew they would be only too happy to order wine for us but as it was awkward to ask outright, I had to rely on my vast experience of hint-dropping. It took a while but when Jorje got the message he ordered the most expensive bottle of wine on the menu. They did have vineyards in Peru but they were mainly used for producing sweet wines and Pisco which is the Peruvian equivalent of Tequila.
10th February 2008
We were invited to a beach club by Neven and his mother Dora who were good friends of Federika’s family and part of the Croatian community in Peru. It was 80 miles South of Lima. In theory, all Peruvian beaches were supposed to be free and available to the public but in practice, a lot of the coast was scattered with clubs where you had to be a member to use the road leading to the beach. Neven’s club had a choice of three beaches and we chose the smallest one which we had all to ourselves. There was plenty of staff around so it was well maintained with changing rooms. showers, sun loungers and sunshades. The Peruvian sun was so strong that it went straight through canvas sunshades so we had a good old palm leaf shade which gave much more protection. The sea was quite cold and the waves big so we had to be careful but as the beach was in a bay, swimming wasn’t too difficult. The sea in that area was unpolluted by sewage and nasty chemicals but there was a lot of rubbish floating around. I was also put off by a small jellyfish floating past so I had to keep an eye out for its big brothers. It wasn’t until after I got out of the sea that I saw a member of staff carrying a jellyfish the size of a large dinner plate so that was the end of my swimming on that beach.
Indulging in my favourite sport of laying on a sunbed, I was pleasantly surprised at the amount of wildlife around. There were lots of pelicans which flew gracefully from place to place for no apparent reason. Some sat on the sea and surface-dived to catch fish, while others seemed happy just chilling out on the rocks. Hundreds of patillos flew around until they saw a fish and then dive-bombed at top speed to catch them. I found it fascinating and sat there for ages watching them. At one point there must have been a big shoal of fish swimming past because the sky was alive with birds dive-bombing and the splashing made the water look like it was boiling.
Refusing to let stupid jellyfish spoil my day I walked into the sea with Neven when he scooped up a handful of sand from the seabed and showed me some disgusting little creepy crawlies called Muy Muy that look a bit like woodlice. The sand was very soft so when I put my feet down I could feel the muy muy crawling around my toes like I was standing in a bath full of cockroaches. It was like something out of a horror movie but easily avoidable by not putting my feet down.
We saw a local man collecting crabs from the rocks so Neven bought four red crabs from him and asked the chef of the restaurant to cook them for our lunch. The restaurant was happy to oblige but as they didn’t usually serve crabs, they didn’t have nutcrackers to crack the tough shells. The only solution was to bash them with empty beer bottles which was surprisingly effective, although it did draw concerned looks from fellow diners who were afraid we might be football hooligans. 
At the end of a very pleasant day, Neven drove us the four miles to Maruja and Jorge’s beach house where we planned to spend the next few days. The house was in an exclusive private club and was one of the few that were at beach level. It had five bedrooms and plenty of bathrooms. They had also invited three other friends to play cards with them and I had never seen anyone play cards for so long. The first day they started around 5 pm and finished at 4 am. The next day they started at 10 am and finished around 10 pm with a short break for lunch and even then Maruja had to force them to stop playing cards so we could all eat.
Federika and I spent most of the time on the beach and went for a few walks although we didn’t get very far as the rocks on either side came to a dead end. The sea was much rougher than the previous beach so rather than swim we just stood in the sea with survival being our main pursuit. Even when I saw a wave coming and prepared myself for battle, it was still a struggle not to get tossed around. My usual technique for dealing with big waves was to dive into them but these waves were intent on flipping me over. One wave hit Federika so hard that her back was sore for a couple of days. There were also some strong currents but as they went from side to side there was no danger of being dragged out to sea. There were a lot of surfers around and heaven knows how they managed to survive as they were constantly being thrown violently off their boards. During one of our walks, I was thrilled to see some dolphins. They often swam playfully with the surfers and were even known to help those who got into trouble by pushing them towards the shore.
Two maids were employed at the beach house to cook, clean and do whatever else was needed. The house came with its own beach area and every morning one of the maids took chairs, sunshades and a cooler box full of drinks and snacks. The local beach restaurant offered beach waitress service and they walked around all day taking orders and serving us where we sat. That was my kind of beach!
We really enjoyed our stay at the beach house which was nicely finished off with a magnificent restaurant breakfast before Jorge’s driver took us back to Lima. It was a horrific drive as he drove at 100 mph on roads with a 50-mph speed limit and he weaved in and out of lanes like he was playing a video game. At one point he was contemplating overtaking a lorry on the hard shoulder (a dirt road) at high speed but thankfully he chickened out at the last minute. There was no doubt that he handled the car well but everyone makes mistakes which at that speed would have meant curtains for everyone. Jorge’s brother was killed in a car crash on that same road a few years earlier so I was surprised he condoned this kind of driving and Maruja later told us she refused to get in a car with him driving.
Back in Lima, we visited the Huaca across the road from us. Huacas are ancient burial and ceremonial sites that are scattered all over Peru. Federika enjoyed the visit but my interest was challenged. If you have seen one crumbling brick you have seen them all, although I must admit, the sheer quantity of clay bricks was pretty impressive. I had always thought it strange that throughout history the priority for so many cultures was to build houses for the dead rather than the living. It was a huge site but still only a sixth of its original size. It dates from around 300 BC, so long before the Incas came along and tarted it up. 
2008 South America
