2008 Brazil – Rio de Janeiro
7th January 2008
At last it was time to make the final preparations for our three-month tour of South America. Unfortunately, we were ill the week before and still felt pretty rough, so we thought we might have to postpone our trip. To be safe, we went to the doctor to have our chests examined in case one of us had an infection, as there had been a lot of it going around. The good news was that both of us were pronounced fit to travel. The bad news was that the nurse started talking about injections. I had lots when I was working for British Airways, and most of them were still valid, but she said I needed hepatitis and typhoid. I hate injections as much as the next person but before I had a chance to make up an excuse, she came at me like a Zulu warrior and I was well and truly jabbed. To my surprise, I hardly felt a thing at the time, but that night it felt like Henry Cooper had used my arm as a punch bag. I was feeling pleased with myself for being up to date with all my jabs but then Federika assured me that Typhoid was not needed in any of the places we were going.
Although Federika was born in Dubrovnik, she grew up in Lima, Peru, so she was very keen to visit, and I was keen to see the place she had talked about so much. The long holiday was possible because I had retired the previous year having been made redundant at the ripe old age of 54. The redundancy came as a relief, as following the outrageous behaviour of my employer, I ended up with a nervous breakdown which ironically came to a head a few weeks after I had left work. The previous Christmas, I had been unable to leave the apartment, let alone travel to deepest Peru. I still had an anxiety disorder but my brother gave me a great piece of advice, “Beware of your safe space.” I followed his advice by forcing myself out of the apartment three times a day and walking a little further each time. Although I was far from cured, I had always loved travel and was determined not to let anxiety rule my life. Armed with diazepam to be taken in emergencies and some mindful awareness meditation audio files, I felt confident I would be all right.
8th January 2008
There was no last-minute panic as I broke the habit of a lifetime and packed the day before. Our son kindly drove us to Heathrow Airport but played music from Dante´s Inferno (the place, not the band) for the entire journey. I would have preferred to walk all the way, pulling our luggage rather than endure that music.
The airport was pretty quiet and I was surprised at how quickly we went through check-in and security. We had to change in Paris and just before landing, the pilot announced the flight connection information. We went to the gate we had been told but our flight wasn’t on the board. We stood around with other passengers waiting for our flight to show up but it never did. We frantically asked around and discovered that not only did the pilot give us the wrong gate, but the correct gate was at the opposite end of the enormous terminal. I looked in horror at our boarding pass to see that our flight was leaving at 10.30 pm, and it was 10.25. Despite being sure we had missed our flight we ran to the gate and with great relief we saw people waiting to board. I had misread the boarding card and saw that the boarding time was 22.30, not the departure. It would still have been very tight but the flight was delayed, so panic over. We were flying with Air France and it was the first time I had been on a long-haul flight on seats that were intended for short haul. I could hardly move but had always been able to sleep in almost any circumstance, although Federika was not so lucky.
We arrived in Rio De Janeiro at 9.30 am where I had booked a transfer to our hotel. After a long flight, the last thing we wanted was to be arguing about prices with a taxi driver and worrying about being taken via Glasgow. The trouble with airport transfers is that they are great if they turn up, but if they don’t, you end up worse off than without one. You have the choice of abandoning the idea and paying a second time, or hanging around hoping your taxi eventually arrives. There were lots of taxi drivers standing around with names on sheets of paper but none of them were ours. Someone from another transfer company kindly contacted our taxi for us and we were given the kind of excuse that was just too stupid to argue with but they did say someone would be with us in 20 minutes. Half an hour later we had given up and were walking towards the taxi rank when our driver finally turned up.
At the hotel, we slept until lunchtime and another three hours after lunch. Even after all that sleep we were still exhausted but managed a trip to Ipanema Beach which was only one block from our hotel. The beach was beautiful, with lots of places where we could hire sun loungers and umbrellas which was essential for me as I found it so uncomfortable laying on the sand for any length of time. The first thing that struck us was how busy the beach was and the extraordinary number of people walking around selling everything you could think of. Food, drinks, ice cream, jewellery, hammocks. Some were carrying mini barbecues where they cooked some kind of weird tapioca thing or prawns on a skewer. The places that hired sunbeds also sold chilled coconuts. People drank from them and threw the rest away. Brazilians didn´t seem to have a culture of taking rubbish home with them and just left all their crap where they had been sitting. By the end of the day, the rubbish that piled up was pretty awful but there was no shortage of labourers scouring the beach at night, making it nice and clean for the next morning.
The sea was quite cold and the waves were a little disconcerting. I tried to body surf but it got a bit scary when I shot along the surface of the sand at what felt like the speed of light. I was on my way back from a swim with my back to the sea when a wave crashed into me and tossed me around like I was a leaf. I somersaulted twice and smashed my head on the seabed. It felt a bit like one of those terrible skiing crashes when you finally came to a stop and just lay there wondering what the damage was going to be, checking each limb to see if it was still there and in full working order. I had never experienced such powerful waves before and knew I had to take them more seriously in the future. Federika laughed and said the waves in Peru would be much more powerful.
It was amusing to see so many people walking down the high street in bathing costumes. It gave the impression that they were sitting at their office desk in their costumes all day and now and then they popped down to the beach for a swim. 
The beach seemed to be divided into different sections, a gay section, one for families, one for old farts, one for youngsters and I expect there were other groups that were not openly recognisable. There would have been a section for tattoo addicts but that group spanned all sections. We were walking along the beach, watching our first Brazilian sunset when suddenly everyone got to their feet and started clapping just as the sun disappeared into the sea. We were surprised at how strong the sun was and although we both turned lobster colour, neither of us got burned, except for a little on Federika´s feet.
After a couple of days on the beach, it was time to do some sightseeing. We booked a tour starting at Corcovado to see the big statue of Christ with his hands outstretched as if he were checking for rain. 
Apart from the view, there was not much else to do so we went to our next stop, the football stadium. It £6 to enter, despite being completely empty. Neither of us was interested so we amused ourselves by looking at the footprints of all the great footballing legends. I had my photo taken standing in the footprint of one of the greatest footballers of all time, Edson Arantes do Nascimento, better known as Pele. I watched him play in the World Cup in 1962 when he was having trouble with one of his football boots. He lost patience with them and so took them off and proceeded to play brilliantly in bare feet which I suppose was not surprising considering that was how he learnt to play. It turned out that Pele and I had the same foot size, which confirmed my suspicion that I could have been a great footballer if my dad hadn’t persuaded me to become an apprentice electrician. Ok, I might never have made the grade as a professional footballer but I definitely sucked at being an apprentice electrician. 
Next stop was the site of the world-famous carnival which was a bit of a letdown. It was just a short stretch of road with banked seating on either side. Like most people, we had assumed that the carnival went through the streets but no, it just went along that short stretch, one float at a time. You do get a sense of atmosphere in some empty venues but I had seen pictures of dodos with more life in them than that street. 
The last stop was Pão de Açúcar, or Sugar Loaf Mountain. It was basically the same as Corcovado but without a statue and you get to it by cable car. It did have a shop selling very impressive crystals although way beyond our price range.
One morning we went to the Hippy Market. I was afraid it was only for hippies but they let us in and to my surprise, I didn’t see a single hippy all the time we were there. It was fun, and among other things, we found two crystals that Federika was keen to buy in Brazil, even if they were imported from China. Most entertaining was an elderly footballer playing keepy-uppy using his feet, shoulders, and elbows. At one point he added a second ball that he balanced on the back of his neck. 
With Rio’s reputation as being dangerous for tourists, I was a little apprehensive but I can’t say I ever felt intimidated. Everyone was very friendly and we never saw any anti-social behaviour. We were surprised to find a lack of live music around Ipanema and Copacabana, so we took a half-hour taxi ride to where all the clubs were. I had never seen such a lively district with areas for everyone. Youngsters with no money could buy a can of beer from a street seller and hang out with their friends, enjoying the music that blared out from dozens of bars. Those who wanted to dance used the pavements as dance floors. People with money could go to clubs that had live music and air conditioning. We went to a club called Carioca da Gema with two excellent bands playing Brazilian music. Surprisingly, we didn’t pay for anything until we were ready to leave. When we went in we were given a sheet of paper with a drink and food menu written on it and every time we ordered something, they wrote it down on our menu. When it was time to leave, we paid at the bar and they tore off the stub for us to show the doorman. It seemed to me that I could have just torn off the stub myself and left without paying. The places that hired beach chairs and umbrellas also offered drinks and coconuts that weren’t paid for until we were ready to leave. Considering the beach was packed with thousands of people, it would have been easy to walk off without paying. For a city with such a reputation for thievery, it seemed strange that they were so trusting or maybe cheating in Rio resulted in a one-way trip to the bottom of the ocean.
Our hotel was pretty average, with the annoyance of having only one bedside table. It meant I had to put my selection of bedside goodies sprawled out on the floor next to me. We paid $60 a night but the actual cost as advertised on the door was $120 a night. I couldn’t imagine anyone paying so much for such a basic room but I supposed during carnival they could charge whatever they wanted. When planning the trip we were worried that five days in Rio might not be enough but we ended up feeling that it was one day too many. We enjoyed our stay but were keen to move on and discover new places.
2008 South America
